"It wont work with me"
Sometimes when people mention that they have a really bad phobia that causes problems in their life (such as being scared of heights, deep water, etc.) and I ask if they've considered hypnotherapy, they say something like "that wont work with me, so there's no point in trying". That response always seems really strange to me, if they've never tried it before how can they know it wont work? It doesn't take long to do it, so the effort required to try it is tiny. Usually I've offered to try and help for free as well, so the cost isn't an issue either.
I wonder if it's just people being scared to try hypnotherapy in general? Although I mostly use NLP techniques for working with phobias now, nobody has ever heard of that so I don't usually mention it (and I still use some hypnotherapy for ego-strengthening with whatever work I'm doing)
One of the people that said it wouldn't work did clarify that it's because she wasn't comfortable with it, so probably wouldn't do what I said. Which makes much more sense - it just bugs me when people say that it's pointless to try because they already know it wont work.
I wonder if it's just people being scared to try hypnotherapy in general? Although I mostly use NLP techniques for working with phobias now, nobody has ever heard of that so I don't usually mention it (and I still use some hypnotherapy for ego-strengthening with whatever work I'm doing)
One of the people that said it wouldn't work did clarify that it's because she wasn't comfortable with it, so probably wouldn't do what I said. Which makes much more sense - it just bugs me when people say that it's pointless to try because they already know it wont work.
4 Comments:
If someone says “I haven’t tried it because it won’t work”, isn’t that self-fulfilling – like even if they did try it, it won’t work *because* they believe it won’t?
I was thinking of hypnosis when I thought this - maybe even the opposite is true of NLP. Might be easier to manipulate (I know that's not the right word but I couldn't think of a better one) who are actively trying to resist?
If it's true about hypnosis though, can people who DO believe convince themselves it worked, even if it actually didn't? Suppose that wouldn't matter anyway - if they believe it then that's probably a good result anyhow... hmm I'm going home before I think myself up in knots!
By Steve, at 5:17 PM
I think that's partly true with hypnosis, if they don't believe it'll work then it'll most likely be a lot more difficult to get the result you want from hypnosis. On the other hand, if they're actually scared of it (which is surprisingly common), then you've got pretty much no chance at all. They just wont let themselves go into that hypnotic trace state.
The NLP stuff is a bit different in that respect though, their believe doesn't really make a difference here. As long as they can follow your instructions (and you know what you're doing), then it should work just fine. Manipulation probably isn't that far from the truth there either - NLP for this type of thing is basically just brain-washing, but it's the type of brain-washing that the client wants so that makes it ok :)
By Wilka, at 8:39 PM
Actually, I guess manipulation is the wrong word for it after all - especially if you follow Dale Emery's definition of manipulation (which I find pretty accurate for the way I think), then it doesn’t apply here. The client already knows beforehand what you're trying to do anyway (and in most cases, it's what they've come to you asking for).
As for the "can people who DO believe convince themselves it worked, even if it actually didn't?" question. I don't really think it matters as long as they get the result they want. It's all inside the mind anyway, so if it works because they've convinced themselves it's worked - then it really has worked, so they were right. Thinking in circles like that can start to do your head in a bit :)
By Wilka, at 1:25 PM
Wilka said: "it just bugs me when people say that it's pointless to try because they already know it wont work."
Don't be bugged by it. These are just people who are having difficulty articulating what they find difficult about hypnotherapy. Don't treat them with disdain - just see them as an excellent opportunity to help people uncover their inner fears and help them out of that situation.
By Mal, at 11:02 PM
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